Moe climbed up on my chest in the middle of the night last night. When that failed to wake me he nuzzled my face with his cold, wet nose. He never does that so I assumed it was a bathroom emergency. I got up, dressed and took him outside only to have him bolt back indoors. He went to the kitchen, took a small drink of water, then waited for me to carry him back to bed. Bastard.
USDA Prime inside skirt steak marinated in olive oil and Lambrusco vinegar, hamburger made with custom grind of short ribs, sirloin and brisket, homemade organic peanut butter.
Moe and I were at the pet store buying some organic duck breast strips. I set him on the counter while I fished for my wallet.
Cashier: Oh, how sweet. Can I give him a treat?
Me: Of course. He’s a god boy.
She pulled out a milk bone
Me: Hey, he doesn’t really eat those.
Moe took it from her anyway
Cashier: See, he likes it! It’s liver flavored.
Moe dropped it on the counter, raised his leg and peed on it.
Me: Oh, sorry. But he really doesn’t like those.