As the pregnancy countdown continues, we are being showered with really stupid suggestions. Let me make it clear: we aren’t interested in meeting your midwife. Don’t want to talk about water birth. We find the ideas of dulas, witch doctors, wiccans, natural birth and all that claptrap to be laughable. We plan to give birth in the most expensive hospital with the nicest facilities and best doctors. She’s going to take as powerful and many drugs as possible while still being safe, and anything else is a non-starter.