I finally found her, the most oblivious dipshit alive

Stopped at Two Boots for a slice and there was a fat butch-looking woman standing in front of the register completely blocking it. She looked down as she texted furiously.

"Excuse me, Miss, have you ordered?"

Nothing. I repeated myself louder with the same result. The counterman spoke up and asked what I wanted, so I ordered, then made an elaborate show of reaching my arm over her shoulder inches from her face as I paid. No reaction, still texting.

Shaking my head, I wandered over and set my bags down on one of the numerous empty tables. Texty McDipshit gets her slice, walks over, and sits at the table my bags sat on top of. Fuck it, now It’s on. I got my slice, walked over and plopped down heavily in the seat across from her.

Now she looked up from her phone.

I stared straight into her eyes. Not looking angry or annoyed, just total stone face as the two of us sat in an otherwise empty pizzeria. She glanced up a couple times, saw I was still staring at her, and quickly dropped her gaze again. Each time she snuck a peek I leaned a little closer towards her. I’ve never seen a person eat a slice that quickly in my life.