April 2011
Always looking at the bright side
Wifey: When did this place become so popular?
Me (surveying crowd): Looks like a fag joint, but for really nerdy homos.
Wifey: You realize they can all hear you, right?
Me: Who, the nerdy fags?
Wifey: Does anyone ever just punch you?
Sonic Youth with Lydia Lunch Death Valley...
Draft Notes
All in all a very fun evening.
Goodell got booed, long and loud, when he took the stage. Not sure how much of it made the air but it was great. You couldn’t hear yourself think it was so loud. He tried to speak several times and had to stop and wait.
Master of the media that he is, he had a preplanned moment of silence for the tornado victims. Totally took the piss out of the...
The Replacements Here Comes a regular
just...
brianvan:
“I hate them,” Mr. Olsen, 40, said of the row of [solar] panels attached to electrical poles across the street. “It’s just an eyesore.”
FOLLOW THE LINK FOR MORE SUBURBAN BUTTHURT
Folks, when you get to the point when your life is consumed with negativity over a 3x3 panel mount on a utility pole, you really should just wrap things up and off yourself. That’s right, commit suicide....
Name Dropping, again
Wifey: So all those draft guys are staying at the W Times Square
Me: Cool, you know I’m…
Wifey: yeah, yeah, you’re going to the draft. Do you want to go to the event we’re hosting for the players afterwards?
Me: Yes please.
Wifey: Okay, I’ll get you in, but then I have to go to a thing with DeNiro for the Tribeca Film Festival
Me: Tell Bob I said hi.
Wifey: He...
Cleveland bans smoking and trans-fats →
njpa:
That effectively kills two of the four hobbies in which Clevelanders frequently engage.
Opinionated aside: I love smoking bans at restaurants, bars, etc. I think outdoor smoking bans are ludicrous. You’re outside. If someone is smoking, move away from them. There’s plenty of room. Yes, smoking is dumb, and yes, breathing in second-hand smoke over an extended period of time is dangerous....
Heckling Cam Newton
I was thinking of chanting “Receiver progression” but realized he’d have no idea what it meant.
If I were the Browns GM
My draft board:
Marcell Dareus
Von Miller
Patrick Peterson
Julio Jones
Nick Fairley
Trade Down
NFL Draft
I go every year, and will again this year. As a Browns fan it is the high point of the football season. As I have posted earlier, however, it increasingly sucks. It has gone from being a roomful of drunk football junkies on a Saturday morning to a lights and sound effects family friendly extravaganza in prime time.
Well fuck that.
I’m determined to bring back the white trash ugliness to...
I love my Stepmom so very much
Truly, I do. To the point that I dropped the “step” and introduce her as Mom. She has improved my life in many ways and I truly enjoy her company.
BUT
She is Korean, and some of the food in her fridge is beyond awful. It smells like Satan ate some rotten fish, puked it up, left it sitting out in the sun til it fermented then baked it in a casserole with some dog crap.
The Royal Wedding
Personally I couldn’t give a rats ass. Worse, the remains of an Irish-American upbringing have me half-hoping for some sort of tragedy. But ultimately, no, not terribly interested.
The Wifey,however, is into it. What makes this bearable is the fact that I’ll set the alarm for 5AM on Friday and kick my day off with bong hits and champagne. That combined with cuddling in bed makes it...
haters, all of you.
thethirdshift:
dennymayo replied to your post: FUCK MAYO
Yeah srsly fuck you too. Also, mayonnaise is gross.
Mayonnaise haters. Man, coming out of the woodwork!
Hellmans is the king of condiments
If you enjoy Treme... →
This column is mandatory reading. It explains the background and references included in every episode.
2 tags
wentdog:
samsplace replied to your post: I am a walking dichotomy the past couple of days…
Keep your chin up, pal. Was just in dads room reading the card you sent him, meant a lot to me.
Wow. This just made my day bro. Hope he is doing well. Thank you Sam.
He is well, thanks, but every day is a struggle for him still. Despite making great progress he feels sad and thinks he let our family...
Eff you, WSEX
If anyone is considering any online wagering I strongly advise you avoid World Sports Exchange (www.WSEX.com). I used them successfully for years. Chose them initially for many good reasons. They are a publicly traded company with a sterling reputation. Until recently, that is.
Suppose I had deposited some money at the start of the NFL Playoffs, and went on a serious run. So serious, in fact,...
Moe had the runs today
We discussed it, and realized that he had the following to eat yesterday:
Bacon
Scrambled Eggs
Roast Pork Belly
Chicken with Vietnamese Spice Rub
Pork Pate
Ground Veal
Ground Top Round
Prosciutto di San Danielle
Chciken Liver
Damn, we really are awful parents, aren’t we?
spinning-around:
srmarymartha:
Did I ever mention that I kind of hated Brokeback Mountain?
No?
Oh.
Brokeback Mountain is a lot better when you drink a bottle of bubbly and MST3K the hell out of it.
You know how Brokeback is even better? If you don’t watch it at all. Ever.
I’m sure there were cowboys with hemorrhoids, and Chinese cowboys, and cowboys who liked to dress as...
Playing with my balls
Got a little crazy with the meatballs today. Mixed in ground veal, ground round, very thinly shredded prosciutto, bread crumbs, two eggs, finely chopped garlic, onion powder, fresh basil, sea salt and coarse ground white pepper.
Married Life
Her: I want to ride you
Me: Dude, I’m tired. Calm down.
2 tags
I'll take a large cheese pizza...
…and an order of baked ziti. A large house salad, extra feta and extra balsamic on the side. Garlic bread with cheese. A side of meatballs. A small order of buffalo wings with ranch dressing. Two cokes and a diet coke. What do you have for dessert?
1 tag
Let's Go Rangers!
Playoffs have started.
